As of Friday morning, I have been living on this planet for one complete month. According to the textbooks, my growing brain should be sufficiently "wired" by now to be able to drink from a bottle with a minimal risk of "nipple confusion". I'm not sure what those textbooks are talking about, because as long as it drips the precious nectar of mommy, I'll suck on just about anything.
Mommy and daddy prepared carefully for this special occasion. They made sure I was plenty hungry (actually that was a mistake- I was so mad I couldn't concentrate on what they were doing). The textbooks say that mom shouldn't be around when I'm offered the bottle becuase I am supposed to prefer her breast. Her presence is supposed to distract me and keep me from taking the bottle. Apparently, all those baby textbooks didn't bother to take into account my voracious appetite.
When dad was trying desperately to calm me down just enough to eat, mommy came back in the room. Mommy held me, made it all better, and I took to sucking on that bottle like a fiend. When it turned out there was only 1 ounce in the bottle, I screamed even louder: "What a tease! You get me all worked up to taking this bottle thing and then you only give me one lousy ounce! Don't you people get it? I AM HUNGRY! I DON"T CARE HOW I GET THE MILK, JUST GIVE ME MORE MILK!"
I hope we have adequately cleared up this minor misunderstanding.
Mommy and daddy prepared carefully for this special occasion. They made sure I was plenty hungry (actually that was a mistake- I was so mad I couldn't concentrate on what they were doing). The textbooks say that mom shouldn't be around when I'm offered the bottle becuase I am supposed to prefer her breast. Her presence is supposed to distract me and keep me from taking the bottle. Apparently, all those baby textbooks didn't bother to take into account my voracious appetite.
When dad was trying desperately to calm me down just enough to eat, mommy came back in the room. Mommy held me, made it all better, and I took to sucking on that bottle like a fiend. When it turned out there was only 1 ounce in the bottle, I screamed even louder: "What a tease! You get me all worked up to taking this bottle thing and then you only give me one lousy ounce! Don't you people get it? I AM HUNGRY! I DON"T CARE HOW I GET THE MILK, JUST GIVE ME MORE MILK!"
I hope we have adequately cleared up this minor misunderstanding.
2 comments:
Well said Sophie!
To paraphrase the Song of Solomon-
Milk- like the best wine...goeth down sweetly, causing the lips that drink to go asleep.
Happy one month birthday tomorrow!
Hello,
Cheers for Elphie!! I good eater is important- you will grow big and strong. I am looking forward to seeing you on July 1- we will be together for several days and PLAY PLAY. Please let me know your shopping list for Harrads. Love, Gran
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